DEPRESSION And suddenly, in a hot flash you realize everything wont get better. everyone tells you, "It's ok, it gets better." And I would love to tell you it does but I won't lie. I know the feeling of being ok, feeling like it will get better but guess what. It doesn't, every time it does you fall back into the hole. People really don't get how hard living with depression and anxiety is. Your depression is telling you to slit your wrists or take those pills but you anxiety is making you to scared to die. The annoying stuck in the middle. I do truly believe I am immortal, I have to kill myself 3 times and none of them worked. Depression is not the same for everyone but I'm going to try and explain how it feels. Say there is a very very deep muddy hole and you've been pushed into it. Every time you try and get up the depression drops cement boulders on you and inevitably there is no way to get out of the hole or a way to dodge them. Every once and awhile the boulders stop and give you time to try and find a way out, but there is no way out. Your stuck. But I'm not writing this to try and tell people how sucky depression is, I'm writing it to try and help. Maybe hopefully save someone. I'm not very good with my words for I am only 13 years old. But I'm here to say I care, and sure I may not know you personally but I truly do care. You were given a life for a reason and you DO have a purpose, even if you haven't found it yet. I am so proud of everything you have done in your life. Truly, truly proud. I want you to know that your not alone. Depression is not fun. The not showering, over showering, the depression rooms, the not responding, the not eating, the grades slipping. No I am not trying to tell you your depression will disappear because they have not yet found a cure. The best thing we can do is cope. Now I know the harmful coping mechanisms may feel like they help but they don't. You use drugs to cope? They really don't help hun, they just mask everything for a short period of time. You cut to cope? All it does is make you feel pain and leave a trace of blood and scars. Don't you want to live to see the future? To see your children?(If you want them) Though you may feel like you deserve to hurt you don't. So please, please reach out for help if you need it. The national suicide prevention hotline is 1-800-273-8255. There are people that do care and do want to help you and want you on this planet, and if you don't want to physically talk the text hotline is the same number. I love and care about the person reading this right now so please don't kill yourself in all seriousness. Even if it feels like there is no other option there is please push through this and try.